Wednesday, 22 October 2008

English in Taiwan

When you arrive at Kaohsiung airport, you’re greeted with a sign on the exit doors saying:

PLEASE AVOID THE COLLISION

This should have stood as a warning as I came to Taiwan in the hope of helping people perfect their English.

Taiwanese rely on translation and take a very lexical approach to language. However, English is not Chinese. Words are ideas and many of the ideas are often fundamentally different. For example:

In Chinese “guan xie” means relationship but also the larger network of inter-relationships; so the Australian expression “no worries” has the Taiwanese equivalent of “may yo guan xie” which is literally translated as “no have relationship or personal debt”.

This approach to language learning is reiterated in the education system, which relies on constant tests of vocabulary and spelling. Students go through their whole life trying to put things they say in Chinese straight into English. Therefore when I’m checking writing I’ll often come across amazing combinations of words like:

If you enjoy the hubbub of the voice place, go to Urban Spot Light

or

your daughter should consider the bright future

The use and overuse of electronic dictionaries also leads to some amazingly archaic vocabulary. One of my students really enjoys gourmandising another has sanguine walls.

Bad English can even be found in government buildings and on websites. I went to the department of motor vehicles and had to stand in the cue marked:

THE DISABLED AND FOREIGNER SERVICE

At the post office I follow the signs to:

PHILATELY SERVICES

I find it a little frustrating as I know everyone under about 30 has had at least 5 years of English language instruction. Yet asking for a coffee at the coffee shop (which is ka-fe in Chinese – not a huge linguistic stretch) is met with fear, consternation, and running to find the English speaker.

I know I should be working harder at learning Chinese but after four years in three different countries, I’m suffering from language fatigue. There’s also something comforting about not knowing what anyone around you is saying.

These irregularities of English often give me a chuckle but can also be powerfully disheartening when teaching.

Kaohsiung Architecture


I can't pretend I know too much about architecture but I can tell you what I like. I have to admit there isn't too much architectural inspiration in Taiwanese cities.

When the Dutch arrived in the 16th century they dubbed the place "Ilha Formosa" or "Beautiful Island". Well we have a pretty good demonstration of what not to do with a beautiful island.


View from the top of Dream Mall looking toward the harbour.

The Taiwanese love their big buildings. They're very proud of the Taipei 101, the tallest building in the world (for a short time). Koahsiung's 85 holds similar awe.


The majority of buildings that people live in though are concrete cubes with weird wiring and poor insulation - hot in summer and cold in winter.


Overall I find them grey and depressing. One of my students, who is an architect, says these pre-fabs are cheap to build.


The seventies styles seem common.


Government buildings are not immune.


This one is amazing if only for the tree growing through it.


Even the new ones look soulless. You must have air conditioning or they're unbearable.


Even empty buildings can be used as billboards


Buxibans

“Benjamin Wang (王星威), president of Chun Shin Limited and an English Testing System representative in Taiwan, said a TOEIC score of 750 was required to be able to teach English using only the English language and text books in English.

He said that this was much higher than the teacher’s average of 539 in Taiwan.”

From:
Taiwan’s mediocre results in English tests raise concerns” by Hu Ching-Hui for The Taipei Time Sep 21, 2008

Cram schools or "buxibans" are big business here. Common topics include English and maths. Most of the people I know in Taiwan are buxiban teachers. I did it for about six months and then went in search of an adult school. It’s a good thing I did, as Taiwan would have fewer children now, if I’d continued.

It’s not the children that would've caused me to rip off their heads, but the system to which they are subjected. It's glorified baby sitting with an emphasis on: making money, placating parents, daily spelling quizzes and making the students come back for the next course, to make more money. The place I worked at linked my pay raises to the number of students who returned for the next course. More about them later.

Message from someone in charge at a buxiban in Kaohsiung,
I shit you not

They generally start at 4pm and most don’t finish until 9.30 at night. These kids go straight from school to buxiban to doing homework –they only get about five or six hours sleep and then expected to achieve academic excellence. It’s ridiculous.

The English cram schools rely on Chinese teachers to do the bulk of the teaching. Flair play, they do a pretty good job under the circumstances and get paid about half the amount that foreign teachers get. They are also expected to work for free, clean the school and do all the marking, in a lot of cases.

At the same time, expecting them to teach pronunciation is pretty unreasonable, when many of them I met have never been to an English speaking country. This is not too much of a problem, as from what I’ve seen, they teach mostly in Chinese. This goes against most of what I’ve been taught in regards to second language acquisition.

Mind you, I’ve been trained to teach English as a Second Language, which is better than most of the foreign teachers in Taiwan. All you need here is a degree, or at least two years of tertiary education. Taiwan has the lowest standards for English teachers I’ve experienced in four countries. Even Thailand, where they pay about a third of the wages here, expect more from their teachers.

It shows too. A larger collection of fresh-out-of-college Americans paying off their student loans would be hard to find anywhere else in the world. The numerous foreigner bars (mostly run by recovering teachers who’ve stayed too long and have to get out of teaching before they go insane) are filled nightly with bad facial hair, backwards baseball caps and inane babble.

Heaven help you if you’re a native English speaking Asian. Despite having the same passport, education and language skills as your Caucasian counterparts, the school will try to pay you a local teacher’s salary, on the grounds that parents don’t expect Asian native speakers – or at least that’s the story I’ve heard from a few people.

Parents don’t want dedicated educators, they want white monkeys to dance in front of their children in the hope they will better pass ludicrous vocabulary tests.

This has led, in part, to the deplorable state of English in Taiwan.

Taiwanese Education

“There is a palace of gold in a book”
-Chinese proverb

Education in Taiwan is very important. For 1300 years during Imperial Chinese rule, you had to memorise the works of Confucius and pass a lengthy examination if you wanted to get into the civil service. This was a well paid job that you held for life. Needless to say, only the moneyed elite had the opportunity sit around rote learning 20 books.


The legacy of this system permeates the modern Taiwanese education structure. Great emphasis is put on students passing exams, as this is seen as the only way to find security in later life. Cases of students being beaten for bad grades are common and they teen suicide rate is through the roof.


School

With this in mind, it is surprising that children in Taiwan only go to school for half days until they are nine. After that, things get a little more hectic. Classes can have as many as 50 students and are based on the “chalk and talk” method of teaching – I speak, you listen and regurgitate my thoughts on demand. It’s all rote learning.


Having “ideas” is not generally encouraged. Exams and quizzes are so common you’d think they would become meaningless. Classes start at 7.30 am and finish at 4 pm. Many of the students I speak to aren’t allowed to watch TV, use the internet or have any interests outside studying. With all the importance of academic achievement, it is no surprise that many students enrol in extra classes after school: buxibans.


Students also clean the school. I like this idea as you’re less likely to make a mess if you have to keep the place clean.


University

At the end of high school, there is one final examination that will determine your whole future, or so it is presented – The University Entrance Exam. This will decide what courses they can study. What you can study is often dictated by parents as well. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met young girls studying engineering, who seem to have almost no interest in the topic. The tragedy is compounded when I meet middle aged people with jobs they hate.


Oddly enough they best universities are the public institutions; while private schools are for the rich, thick kids. Some universities are set up by large corporations to mould their employees of the future.


Everything foreign in Taiwan is considered worthy. Students are no exception. Over the past few years the government has been offering huge grants for students to come and study for an MBA for free. Classes are mostly in English but the quality of the course (and the English) is yet to be seen.


Military service is compulsory in Taiwan for males after they leave study. Therefore, it seems many male students go onto further study, just to avoid going to the army.


Later Life

What is the result of all this education based on rote learning and memorisation?


A nation without imagination


Independent thinking is not encouraged, and although hard working, something extra will be required to take this economy to the next level, like those of Japan or Korea.


You look at biggest industries in Taiwan and they don’t produce anything original but reproduce cheaper versions of other people’s ideas: semiconductors, bicycles and Asus computers. With China having a huge pool of slave labour, the Taiwanese are going to find it hard to compete unless they can find something that no one else does better.


You still need to pass a huge exam to get into the civil service.

Taiwanese Protest at its finest

Thursday, 9 October 2008

Sunday, 5 October 2008

The Scavenger Hunt - Epilogue

Thanks to everyone who came along to the

Great Kaohsiung Scavenger Hunt

Obviously you

Could work it out?

(apart for the whole cafe on the mountain bit)



Nice work!


See below for the full list of clues,

and feel free to send in your photos.

I'd like to get them up here.




Location 1:
Wisconsin has one famed for its Packers,
Get to Kaohsiung’s green waters, you slackers!


You must find:
Taiwan is home to one famous ale,
bring us something with its name so you won’t fail.

It’s a Taiwanese child’s idea of heaven,
Can you find a good boy (gwi gwi) at 7- Eleven?

What you need is a pic,
of any sexy chic.

Saint Anthony it translates to from Spanish,
the name of this place you can get a dish.
You must get its business card,
it can’t be that hard!

New York it’s the “subway”, London it’s “underground”,
A token from Kaohsiung’s version, must be found.

Location 2:
Taiwan is an island,but Kaohsiung has its own,
here you’ll find the next clue’s home.

You must find:
On the island sea-creatures are thick,
bring us one, impaled, on a stick.

Taiwan has a famous Goddess of the Sea,
you must get a photo of her and thee.

it could be Mazu but it'll do

In Taiwan there’s a nut that’s often chewed,
bring us some, and evidence you’ve used.

This stuff on the beach you like to lay,
bring a handful, by the end of day.

To the island two boats commute,
One is pretty, the other ain’t so cute.
A pic of you on the latter,
is what really matters.
the crappy ferry
Location 3:
A café on the mountain over looks the city,
Here is where the next clue will be.

You must find:

Here is many a religious icon,
you get a photo of you and one.

Near here is a station of fire,
a picture of its truck you must acquire.

To truly be triumphant,
bring a piece of a plant.

In Kaohsiung it is the tallest,
its gym’s business card, bring to us.
icon
On Wufu Bridge there is a date,
bring us a photo which it states.

Location 4:
Find the Buddha and make it snappy,
you know the one, he’s always happy.

fire truck

You must find:
More important that all the rest,
Can you find a pair of breasts?

You may not give a flying fuck,
but you need a menu with duck.

Taiwan has a famous bean curd,to some it smells like turd.
Bring with you a sample,and proof you’ve consumed ample.
breasts as promised
Next to Love River is a tower famed for its light,
a photo of you climbing it shall bring delight.

Location 5:
The final spot,is a house of fruit
the colour of a setting sun
hurry there to continue the fun,
off you trott o collect the loot

stinky tofu time

More photos from the hunt:

Taiwan is home to one famous ale,
bring us something with its name so you won’t fail.

It’s a Taiwanese child’s idea of heaven,
Can you find a good boy (gwi gwi) at 7- Eleven?


Taiwan has a famous Goddess of the Sea,
you must get a photo of her and thee.





To the island two boats commute,
One is pretty, the other ain’t so cute.
A pic of you on the latter,
is what really matters.




Here is many a religious icon,
you get a photo of you and one


Near here is a station of fire,
a picture of its truck you must acquire.


More important that all the rest,
Can you find a pair of breasts?


Friday, 3 October 2008

I can't believe it's not: 7-11

A reason to drive carefully...

Diary entry from April 26

We drove down to Kenting yesterday and camped on BaiSha Beach. It’s by far the best beach I’ve seen in Taiwan. We left at noon and got there just before three.
The camp-site, where we had planned to stay, was trashed. Everything was gone. There was no one around so we decided to camp there anyway. After setting up, we headed off into town and had some dinner at a Thai place, then came back to the beach with supplies.

By seven the place was deserted. We drank rum on the beach, had a smoke, but it was too cold for swimming. Today we got up early – due to the daylight, and packed up the tent before heading back down to the beach.

The weather had cleared up and it looked pristine, so I hired an umbrella and Robyn lay in the sun. It was a good day for people watching. After lunch we decided to head home before it got too dark.

We stopped every hour to break up the driving. An hour and half into the drive, we were driving down a fairly busy section of highway when up ahead there was a terrific crash. Two bikes went flying across the road. Needless to say, we stopped to see if everyone was ok.

One slightly damaged ankle, possibly a broken nose and one guy with half his foot missing. I can’t get that image out of my head. All the skin off the top of his foot was hanging off to one side, exposing the bone and sinew below. It was like some thing from a horror movie.


It was a good ten to fifteen minutes until the ambulance arrived. R had the right idea and got him to lie down and relax. I really wanted to do something about the bleeding – but what could you do. I had sterile swabs – but there wasn’t enough for the whole foot. I considered a tourniquet – but the cops would be here soon and they would know the best course of action.

The best course of action was to wait for the ambulance, which the police officer did (when he arrived 5-10 minutes after the crash). He ignored the injured and just started directing traffic. I moved the two trashed bikes off the road. I couldn’t stand looking at that foot; I couldn’t stand doing nothing either, so I joined R chilling the dude out. He was taking it pretty well.

When the ambulance did arrive, they didn’t do anything but put him on a trolley, stick him in the van and drive off. I will never forget the look on the face of the ti-cur dude (Taiwanese version of a bogan/redneck). It looked as if he were going to cry with empathy.

I just felt ill with sympathy. As soon as the ambulance headed off, so did we: very, very carefully.

Dog Training


If you own a dog in Taiwan, you will have to train it to ride on your scooter.

I parked my bike one night and this guy wanted to go for a ride

Wednesday, 1 October 2008

More Fashion Tragedies

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get photos for all the bad fashion I see around me, so here's a list I jotted down while sitting in cafe near Wufu Road.

  • man-bags
  • giant hair
  • dyed hair
  • short shorts
  • couples in matching shirts
  • pricey punks
  • shirt dresses
  • big watches
  • business man uniform
  • converse rip-offs
  • protective sun wear
  • masks
  • novelty helmets
  • USA tee shirts
  • pet dressing
  • giant high heels
  • backwards bike shirts
  • shirtless sleeves
Photo from: http://dailychao.blogspot.com/2008/09/buying-love.html

Receipt Lottery

This is something I've been meaning to blog for a while... but why bother is other people are going to do it for you.

Check out:

http://feikaidi.blogspot.com

Police in Taiwan...

Scooter rider without helmet shot dead in police chase

Tuesday, September 30, 2008 9:38 am

TAIPEI, Taiwan -- Police have begun investigating a shooting case in which a scooter rider with a concealed license plate was shot in the head and died after he and his partner refused to stop for a police check in Taipei County.

http://www.chinapost.com.tw/taiwan/local/taipei/2008/09/30/176731/Scooter-rider.htm

Green Island

Here's my belated photo-essay from Green Island.
It ranks among my top place to see in Taiwan.



I'm going to focus here on the natural beauty of the place,
and too much on our endeavours,
or the events that led to Roisin's injuries.


These are some of my favourite signs



The beaches are not all that great for swimming
but once you get past the rocks the fish are awesome.





Oh deer! Does anyone else see anything wrong with this?


And here some more pics of those crazy guys out "snorkelling"