English in Taiwan

When you arrive at Kaohsiung airport, you’re greeted with a sign on the exit doors saying:

PLEASE AVOID THE COLLISION

This should have stood as a warning as I came to Taiwan in the hope of helping people perfect their English.

Taiwanese rely on translation and take a very lexical approach to language. However, English is not Chinese. Words are ideas and many of the ideas are often fundamentally different. For example:

In Chinese “guan xie” means relationship but also the larger network of inter-relationships; so the Australian expression “no worries” has the Taiwanese equivalent of “may yo guan xie” which is literally translated as “no have relationship or personal debt”.

This approach to language learning is reiterated in the education system, which relies on constant tests of vocabulary and spelling. Students go through their whole life trying to put things they say in Chinese straight into English. Therefore when I’m checking writing I’ll often come across amazing combinations of words like:

“If you enjoy the hubbub of the voice place, go to Urban Spot Light”

or

“your daughter should consider the bright future”

The use and overuse of electronic dictionaries also leads to some amazingly archaic vocabulary. One of my students really enjoys gourmandising another has sanguine walls.

Bad English can even be found in government buildings and on websites. I went to the department of motor vehicles and had to stand in the cue marked:

THE DISABLED AND FOREIGNER SERVICE

At the post office I follow the signs to:

PHILATELY SERVICES

I find it a little frustrating as I know everyone under about 30 has had at least 5 years of English language instruction. Yet asking for a coffee at the coffee shop (which is ka-fe in Chinese – not a huge linguistic stretch) is met with fear, consternation, and running to find the English speaker.

I know I should be working harder at learning Chinese but after four years in three different countries, I’m suffering from language fatigue. There’s also something comforting about not knowing what anyone around you is saying.

These irregularities of English often give me a chuckle but can also be powerfully disheartening when teaching.

Buxibans

“Benjamin Wang (王星威), president of Chun Shin Limited and an English Testing System representative in Taiwan, said a TOEIC score of 750 was required to be able to teach English using only the English language and text books in English.

He said that this was much higher than the teacher’s average of 539 in Taiwan.”

From:
“Taiwan’s mediocre results in English tests raise concerns” by Hu Ching-Hui for The Taipei Time Sep 21, 2008

Cram schools or "buxibans" are big business here. Common topics include English and maths. Most of the people I know in Taiwan are buxiban teachers. I did it for about six months and then went in search of an adult school. It’s a good thing I did, as Taiwan would have fewer children now, if I’d continued.

It’s not the children that would've caused me to rip off their heads, but the system to which they are subjected. It's glorified baby sitting with an emphasis on: making money, placating parents, daily spelling quizzes and making the students come back for the next course, to make more money. The place I worked at linked my pay raises to the number of students who returned for the next course. More about them later.

Message from someone in charge at a buxiban in Kaohsiung,
I shit you not

They generally start at 4pm and most don’t finish until 9.30 at night. These kids go straight from school to buxiban to doing homework –they only get about five or six hours sleep and then expected to achieve academic excellence. It’s ridiculous.

The English cram schools rely on Chinese teachers to do the bulk of the teaching. Flair play, they do a pretty good job under the circumstances and get paid about half the amount that foreign teachers get. They are also expected to work for free, clean the school and do all the marking, in a lot of cases.

At the same time, expecting them to teach pronunciation is pretty unreasonable, when many of them I met have never been to an English speaking country. This is not too much of a problem, as from what I’ve seen, they teach mostly in Chinese. This goes against most of what I’ve been taught in regards to second language acquisition.

Mind you, I’ve been trained to teach English as a Second Language, which is better than most of the foreign teachers in Taiwan. All you need here is a degree, or at least two years of tertiary education. Taiwan has the lowest standards for English teachers I’ve experienced in four countries. Even Thailand, where they pay about a third of the wages here, expect more from their teachers.

It shows too. A larger collection of fresh-out-of-college Americans paying off their student loans would be hard to find anywhere else in the world. The numerous foreigner bars (mostly run by recovering teachers who’ve stayed too long and have to get out of teaching before they go insane) are filled nightly with bad facial hair, backwards baseball caps and inane babble.

Heaven help you if you’re a native English speaking Asian. Despite having the same passport, education and language skills as your Caucasian counterparts, the school will try to pay you a local teacher’s salary, on the grounds that parents don’t expect Asian native speakers – or at least that’s the story I’ve heard from a few people.

Parents don’t want dedicated educators, they want white monkeys to dance in front of their children in the hope they will better pass ludicrous vocabulary tests.

This has led, in part, to the deplorable state of English in Taiwan.

Taiwanese Education

“There is a palace of gold in a book”
-Chinese proverb

Education in Taiwan is very important. For 1300 years during Imperial Chinese rule, you had to memorise the works of Confucius and pass a lengthy examination if you wanted to get into the civil service. This was a well paid job that you held for life. Needless to say, only the moneyed elite had the opportunity sit around rote learning 20 books.

The legacy of this system permeates the modern Taiwanese education structure. Great emphasis is put on students passing exams, as this is seen as the only way to find security in later life. Cases of students being beaten for bad grades are common and they teen suicide rate is through the roof.

School

With this in mind, it is surprising that children in Taiwan only go to school for half days until they are nine. After that, things get a little more hectic. Classes can have as many as 50 students and are based on the “chalk and talk” method of teaching – I speak, you listen and regurgitate my thoughts on demand. It’s all rote learning.

Having “ideas” is not generally encouraged. Exams and quizzes are so common you’d think they would become meaningless. Classes start at 7.30 am and finish at 4 pm. Many of the students I speak to aren’t allowed to watch TV, use the internet or have any interests outside studying. With all the importance of academic achievement, it is no surprise that many students enrol in extra classes after school: buxibans.

Students also clean the school. I like this idea as you’re less likely to make a mess if you have to keep the place clean.

University

At the end of high school, there is one final examination that will determine your whole future, or so it is presented – The University Entrance Exam. This will decide what courses they can study. What you can study is often dictated by parents as well. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met young girls studying engineering, who seem to have almost no interest in the topic. The tragedy is compounded when I meet middle aged people with jobs they hate.

Oddly enough they best universities are the public institutions; while private schools are for the rich, thick kids. Some universities are set up by large corporations to mould their employees of the future.

Everything foreign in Taiwan is considered worthy. Students are no exception. Over the past few years the government has been offering huge grants for students to come and study for an MBA for free. Classes are mostly in English but the quality of the course (and the English) is yet to be seen.

Military service is compulsory in Taiwan for males after they leave study. Therefore, it seems many male students go onto further study, just to avoid going to the army.

Later Life

What is the result of all this education based on rote learning and memorisation?

A nation without imagination

Independent thinking is not encouraged, and although hard working, something extra will be required to take this economy to the next level, like those of Japan or Korea.

You look at biggest industries in Taiwan and they don’t produce anything original but reproduce cheaper versions of other people’s ideas: semiconductors, bicycles and Asus computers. With China having a huge pool of slave labour, the Taiwanese are going to find it hard to compete unless they can find something that no one else does better.

You still need to pass a huge exam to get into the civil service.

Betel Nut: A Beginner's Guide

Dog Training

If you own a dog in Taiwan, you will have to train it to ride on your scooter.

I parked my bike one night and this guy wanted to go for a ride

Xpat: From the Desk Spring '08

Design by Matt Gibson
http://matt-gibson.org/

US defence expenditure 2008: $643.9 billion

Increase from 2007: 2.84%

Cost of eliminating starvation and malnutrition globally: $19 billion

Cost of providing education for every child on earth: $12 billion

Cost of providing access to water and sanitation: $15 billion

Cost of reversing the spread of AIDS and Malaria: $23 billion

Amount Americans spend a year on cosmetics: $8 billion

Amount spent on pet food in Europe and the United States: $17 billion

Amount the world spends on Narcotic drugs: $400 billion

Taiwan’s military spending in 2005: $7.574 (18th of 170)

Biggest importer of US arms from 1981 to 1985: Iraq

Iraq imports of US arms from 1981 to 1985: $23.9 billion

The total household waste generated in Taiwan in 1999: 8.88 million tons

Average daily waste produced per person: 1.082 kg

The total household waste generated in Dubai in 2007: 14 million tons

Top ranking countries for the amount waste generated per person per year (2000):
#1 United States: 760 kgs
#2 Australia: 690 kgs
#3 Denmark: 660 kgs
#4 Switzerland: 650 kgs
#5 Canada: 640 kgs per

The number of males for each female in Taiwan aged 15-64: 1.03

The number of males for each female in Dubai: 2.8

The number of people who recently started a relationship when an Italian team of scientists tested for levels of a protein called nerve growth factor (NGF): 58

Symptoms of NGF: sweaty palms and butterflies in the stomach - commonly associated with romantic love

Of the 39 people who were still in the same relationship after a year, their levels of NGF: normal

Percentage of people who say they want to be rid of their current partner: 8

Percentage of Australian married men who have sex at least twice a week: 43

Percentage of Australian single men who have sex at least twice a week: 26

Percentage of people who claim to be satisfied with their sex life: 49

Average number of times French people have sex every year: 130 (the most in Europe)

USA White Wife-Asian Husband: 174,000

Asian Wife Asian Husband: 2,493,000

Since 1962, six actors have portrayed James Bond in "official" films

BASE stands for: Building, Antenna, Span, Earth

Fine for BASE jumping in a national park in the United States: up to $2,000

The current BASE number: above 1,000,

The number of people who have died while BASE jumping: 120.

The highest BASE jump off Pakistan's Trango Towers in 1992: 19,000 feet (5791m)

Feet higher than most skydiving planes go: about 4,000 feet (1219m).

The lowest feasible jump: around 250 feet (72m)

Jumps completed during KL Tower International BASE Jump Merdeka Circuit 2007: 2780

Jump that killed the “father” of BASE jumping Carl Boenish in 1984: Troll Wall, Norway

Year that BASE jumping from Troll Wall was made illegal: 1986

Number of hotels in Dubai: 302

Number of hotel rooms in Dubai: 30,648

Xpat: Letter from the Editor, Spring '08

Design by Matt Gibson
http://matt-gibson.org/

Full text

Comparison

Taiwan — Population: 22,858,872 (July 2007 est.)

Australia — Population: 20,434,176 (July 2007 est.)

Taiwan — Area Total: 35,980 km²

Tasmania — Area Total: 90,758 km²

Chinglish

Lunch with Students

One of the bonuses of this gig is having students buying you lunch.

Greetings from Taiwan

Welcome to the latest instalment of The Odyssey.

Due to poverty and the lack of internet service, transmission was temporarily suspended.

Well that is due to change now that we are online at home.

However, the connection is so slow we can't even upload photos.

This is due to change soon.

So, what has been going down? I hear you ask.
Well, allot and a little.

They say that moving house and changing jobs,
are two of the most stressful things one can do in life.

Try doing that with moving to a new country where:

you can't speak the language

you have no job arranged and

you have no money

Makes it an even more stressful.

Every day though,

you find,

life gets a little better...

in one way or another.

We now have jobs.
Even though I am doing two things that are generally against my religion:
working with children and
working on weekend.
Even worse:
working with children on weekends!

But for the time being,
I have to think of the credit card,
grin,
and bear it...

R has a pretty good gig though,

working with the little kiddies,

she likes it which is the main thing.

However, she it on mornings and I'm working nights.

At least we get a little time together.

Apart from that we have an apartment.

Up another flight of stairs, which I was not happy about.

But it is cheap and spacious and it mostly furnished.

So that is the deal up to now pretty much.
There is a lot to talk about, this new country of Taiwan.
(is it a country? apparently. Most other countries don't seem to think so though)

But that will have to wait until next time.

We are off for a ride around town.

Stay in touch.

A